Today’s piece is a shortish one since I’m sick. But I couldn’t let this day pass by without writing something about Valentine’s day from a polyamorous point of view.
Myself, I won’t be celebrating Valentine’s this year. Nomad doesn’t celebrate it and has an unrelated special day today, so I’m on my own. How do I feel about that? I’m fine with Nomad not celebrating it with me – we never have – but I have to admit I’m not hugely thrilled about being alone in itself. This is the first year I haven’t been celebrating it since 2005 (so since I was fourteen years old…) and waking up to a Facebook news-feed full of everyone talking about all the lovely romantic things they’re doing today has sort of made it very difficult to ignore.
In principal, I don’t think Valentine’s is a big deal, and of course we all know it’s hugely over-commercialised. It’s also extremely heteronormative and mono-normative, like all mainstream notions of romance. (Ever tried to find a Valentine’s card that doesn’t present love as being all about exclusivity and being someone’s one-and-only forever and ever?) So I’ve been spending today having a taking-care-of-the-Jess day. I’ve been dozing on and off all afternoon and it’s been lovely. And I’ll probably go dancing later, which always does me good.
The ongoing joke about polyamory and Valentine’s, of course, is that it must get ridiculously expensive. The other commonly raised question is which partner do you spend it with? For me, it’s never been an issue, as I’ve never concurrently had two partners who wanted to celebrate it with me.
So I’m curious, my lovely readers – how do YOU spend the February day of love? Do you spend it with one partner, or more, or alone? Do you go all out, or do you ignore it entirely? Leave your thoughts or stories in the comments.
Whatever you’re doing or not doing, I hope today and every day is filled with love and joy xxx<3