Today, I point you to an article I stumbled across on the MSN Today site (my homepage when I open my internet browser.) It can be found here, and is titled ’10 Signs She’s Losing Interest.’ I clicked it just out of curiosity, as I often to with relationship based articles, and (as so often happens!) felt compelled to immediately rip all the Epic Levels of Fail to shreds.
So. At first, not too bad. This article contained a slew of decent-but-obvious points that I am surprised anyone needs to be told (if you’re always her last priority, if she’s constantly picking fights) but also a few choice moments of absolute What-The-Fuck-ery.
Pat on the back: A kiss can tell a thousand things, but so can a hug. If her cuddles are just a brief squeeze and she starts patting your back while she’s got her arms around you, it suggests she’s shying away from intimacy and putting you into the ‘friends’ zone.
…The fuck? This is really oddly specific and makes no sense. If something as personal as hug style can be interested as a reliable sign of a fading relationship, then… urgh, I don’t even know. This one isn’t even so much offensive as just bizarre.
Getting with her friends: If she swaps her cosy nights in with you for wild nights out with her friends, you could be falling off her radar. Reconnecting with her mates could be a sign she’s shoring up people to spend time with if she finds herself single again, and her nights out could be her trying out the single life to know if that’s what she’d prefer.
Okay, what the ACTUAL fuck? This is horrible. Is the author seriously suggesting that women in happy relationships never go out with their friends? Fuck that shit! When I go out and dance until dawn with my friends, it’s not a sign that I am ‘trying out the single life.’ It’s a sign that I am – wait for it – going out with my friends!
This is both really frightening, in the ‘if she spends time with her friends she doesn’t love you,’ encouraging really scary, possessive and controlling behaviour kind of way… and just plain offensive in suggesting that women only care about their friends when there’s no man to have ‘cosy nights in’ with. Just eww!
No need: Whereas once you were one the one she turned to when she had a problem to talk through or a picture she needed hanging, now she’s become much more self-sufficient. If she stops relying on you, maybe she’s preparing for life without you.
Ewwww. This is vile. If she’s self-sufficient, she doesn’t love you? What? And… hanging a picture? Seriously? If I’m capable of hanging my own damn pictures, I don’t really love my boyfriend? Hey, Nomad – I can do basic, fully-functional-adult things for myself! Be careful, Honey! </sarcasm.>
Being self-sufficient, and also having a support system beyond (but including) one’s partner(s,) is not only not a sign of a fading relationship, it’s essential for a healthy life and healthy relationship! This seems to be advocating really scary co-dependency.
Finally, I bring you this gem from the sister article of this one (surprise surprise, it’s ’10 Signs HE’s Losing Interest.’)
No one likes a possessive partner, but if the man in your life stops caring about your colleague he’s convinced has carnal intentions, it could spell trouble. It may mean he no longer wants you himself – or even that he’d like someone to take you off his hands.
Dear Relationship Columnists; please, please stop teaching your hundreds of thousands of readers that jealousy is the surest sign of love, and that if a boyfriends lets me go out with my friends or doesn’t fly into a rage about me being friendly with male colleagues, he doesn’t really love me. Just stop it. Why can you not see how disgustingly abuse-apologist this is?